Fighting Myself

I don't know who I am anymore. The Virus is here for me. Always cold, calculated, logical. And me, weak, caring, trusting. The Virus is the superior being in this battle. And it is to him that I relinquish this situation to. I wish only for my mistakes to be forgotten, not forgiven. I know that I have condemned myself to this life. Destined to become a lock-in in my future, no friends, no contacts, no family. I have done this to myself. I drown out these thoughts with music in a futile attempt to resist these suicidal tendencies that The Virus is pushing upon me. Passing the blame off onto a dear friend that I have pushed away. Fuck, I don't know what to do. Who is wrong in situations such as these, who is the antagonizer and who is the victim. I have broken another one of my rules, friends never say goodbye. Harnessing my greatest fear and using it against myself, I drive out The Virus, if only temporarily. If I had a soul to condemn, no doubt she would have already wished me to hell. But hell holds no torture greater than that of loneliness. It is to you dear readers that I write this letter of hate. Praying to the Gods that one of you may be able to relate to my inner hatred towards The Virus and myself. I thank you for your time. And Goodbye.

SAW

Hate

There's a rage inside all of us. Religion calls it Satan, the government calls it Anarchy, I call it Hatred. The Hatred of those who surround us. The Hatred towards the ones who betray us, lie to us, and those who direct their own Hatred towards us. Fuck them all. You have your own Hate, your own rage, your sense of anarchy, Satan, demons, whatever the fuck you want to call it, it's yours. Use it. Harness your rage and direct it towards those who do you wrong. Whatever you do, don't fall in love, it will expose your rage to the outside world because of the aftereffects. When it's all over, your Hatred will overpower you, and you'll have nothing left but hate.

THE VIRUS

Who Do You Think You Are?

I'm sick of all of this crap. People think I'm suicidal because I write these stories, because I hate my current situations, and because I listen to "emo music". Who the fuck are you to judge me?! The ideas that flow through my head are inspired by things that are going on in real life, whether you make the connections or not. If you actually read my work instead of looking for some "hidden meaning" that might show that I'm depressed or suicidal, then you might actually like what you read. So fuck you guys, I'm brought down daily by people who call themselves my friends, I don't need to come home and get a phone call asking me if I've tried killing myself lately, from a family member too. You're all Drones. Do you even come up with these ideas yourselves, or is my defective parental unit giving you false information? If I tried killing myself, you'd all already know, because I'd leave a note on this blog! Oh wait, you don't actually read the works, you just skim them. So, for all of you that have encouraged my writing, thank you. To the one who told me that it's just a phase I'm going through, that I'm not actually going to succeed at this, GO FUCK YOURSELF. See, big capital letters mean that you would have noticed it because your skimming the post. So, to my aunts, uncles, mother, sister, grandfathers, grandmothers, "friends", and cousins, thank you for your encouragement. I'm done for the day. Go away. Don't come back unless your actually going to offer some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, which would require you to read my work. So, thank you for your time, goodbye drones.

-THE VIRUS